| the kings of old |
[08 Jan 2009|10:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 flirty |
] |
so much has gone on.
ive succeeded with everything i ever wanted.
everything i ever said that i wanted to be and/or become, has come into existince.
its weird having EVERYTHING you've ever asked for, and still realizing that it will never be enough.
im just trying to fill in certain blanks in my life, with the wrong things i guess.
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[06 Feb 2008|07:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
my life is changed.
Ty Karl Zazueta is changed.
im abandoning this life.
Literally, if your reading this, im pretty much dead.
Im building a new life for myself, one that no one, especially myself, will be able to recognize.
My Dream.
Return to Newport OR and find her.
ill work on finding myself first. that sounds nice :]
peace out, goodbye, shabbat shalom.
hope to see you around sometime.
THE END.
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| you might have noticed |
[25 Sep 2007|04:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bitchy |
] |
im going nowhere in my life.
and im only slowing you down.
thank you.
things only seem to get worse for me.
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| if you can't believe me, then whats there to believe? |
[24 Sep 2007|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
i fiend for a cigarette every day of my life.
i would to say i haven't smoked at all today but the early am counts.
why do five different types of medication have no effect on me?
when alcohol makes the world better.
i realized tonight, again, how alone iam in my life. even when i have a girlfriend, i might as well be alone.
i might as well run off to another state, and when i realize how i have next to nothing, then what?
i really really want someone to come and get me out of this mood
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| you cant decipher reflections from reality |
[16 May 2007|11:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
grateful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"And I " -BoxCarRacer |
] |
wow. so my life has changed alot!
things are different now. im actually happy.
im exactly where i want to be.
kinda. i just want to hold you. i want to tell you how beautiful you are to me.
the thought of you in my arms, it seems so alien, like it would never come.
i dont know though. to be honest signs in my life are telling me to stay.
to be with you. id be selling my future, yet i have no problem with that.
if i could look in your eyes and tell you that you make my world revolve, then i would be happy.
regardless of location or anything.
so then theres what happened to me 22 days ago. it seems like alot longer.
i've come to realize that when you have come to the point of not fearing death, its really then that you can
live.. and love.
i dont know, i guess theres more to this in my head, but its not very audible, and particularily hard to
write.
i just hope you too are happy. because i didnt do it for attention.
im much older now, and i'm tired of your games.
your just some faggy girl, and i need a lover with soul power
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[20 Jun 2006|03:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
i wish i could drive.
i would drive to a lake and drown myself.
i already am drowning myself in boredom
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| shoot the door bell off of my head |
[25 Jan 2006|01:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
A Dreamy Day Daydreaming of You-Of Montreal |
] |
my life is complete.
seriously everything for the past 24 hours has been lovely.im really really happy right now tooo.
i saw of montreal live.
i will marry kevin barnes.they were the most amazing band ive ever seen live.
his voice is beautiful.his words are amazing.
im content now
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[03 Oct 2005|06:35pm] |
so i thought i had fun saturday, i guess i was wrong.
i dont know why i thought things would be good.
i dont want to destroy love.cause you know..i already did it for myself already.
im sick of this place.im sick of so many different things.
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[18 Sep 2005|07:55pm] |
okay
so i want to pop a shitload of pills and drink vodka.
i mean the cool thing is to not give a shit about anything and to do drugs right?
well fuck.
im at this point in my life where i see no purpose and and i have nothing.really.what do i have?you could be stupid and say i have my whole life ahead of me.but then again you dont know that.
fuck this
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[24 Aug 2005|12:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic |
] |
"so ive been thinking alot lately. i told you this
but.
i think we should take a break.in other words break up.
ive thought about this for a while.since the sunday you broke up with me.recently i havent wanted to be in a relationship.its nothing you did and theres no one else i like.its just that ive been a nervious wreck and i cant control myself.my memory is horrible and i dont know.
im going through mental hell.i loved the show friday with you.but i dont know.before that things were kinda weird between us. i feel like your not happy with me.
like whenever were out somewhere you seem very sad.and i feel like its because of me.
i hate not being closer to you. i dont know if im being too clingy or not clingy at all but i hate not talking to you on the phone.like..as long as i could hear your voice id be happy.but you dont like talking on the phone.to me at least. im sorry.maybe once i figure out myself and realize what i want ill go back into the relationship buisness.but lately ive just been in love with being in love.
im sorry. "
so i broke up with her
im just so not in the mood for a shitty relationship.or drama.
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[10 Jul 2005|11:08pm] |
im sad
shiiittttt..whats happening?
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| FRIENDS ONLY. |
[07 Jun 2005|09:49pm] |
Read the rules.
And for those of you who can't see:
1. Add me first.
2. Comment and tell me that you added me.
3. I will add you back. Count on it.
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